Ms Vivian Interview

Ms Vivian Interview

In our latest Dominatrix Interview, we talked with Ms Vivian of Dallas, Texas to discuss how She became a Professional Dominatrix and Her thoughts on BDSM.

Q) How did you get your started in BDSM?
A) I had an interest in being a professional Dominatrix since I was an undergraduate.  I had the good fortune to attend a prominent East Coast university in an urban setting.  While trying to figure out how to maximize time to work on My studies, I answered an intriguing ad and was interviewed by a very composed woman who sounded more librarian than dominatrix.  At that moment in time, the job did not work for My schedule, but several other seemingly small coincidences occurred in the next few years that suggested this was something I would do.

I am a fiercely determined person and more often than not, what I set My sights on comes to pass. I am not a sadist and My will includes what I use as a tagline, I make boys better–both inside and outside the dungeon space.  Aside from owning My time, it is another reason I find My work gratifying.  It should be noted that My interest in BDSM is more cerebral than sexual.

I have found that commanding respect and dispensing power is not about just words and actions.  It’s most about presence and having full ownership and control of one’s self.  Now as a practicing and comfortably seasoned professional I am no different in session than outside of them.  I’m a reflective person and generally follow the maxim to walk softly and carry a big stick.  When I say something, I am heard.  That quiet librarian-dominatrix modeled for Me that it is possible to be comfortable in your own skin and do whatever you want that does not violate others  While not a sadist, I am also not at all opposed to making corrections or administering punishments.

I did a little bit of time in the lifestyle to gain some experience, and even had My moment on the other side of the slash and found it was not for Me.  My path may have been winding, but My destination was nothing less than that of professional dominatrix.  I have sought to be educated about all kinds of things both concrete and abstract and have worked with very experienced practitioners to get where I am.

The work that Pro Dommes do is important. I also believe that the good clients are also doing important things to better themselves and find out who they really are.  I believe that professionals are helping to balance the scales of gender power and educating men on how they can be allies, for the good of all.

Q) How long have you been a Pro-Domme?
A) I have been working in this capacity for nearing seven years since making My full stop conversion to Dominant Woman. Being quiet like a librarian didn’t work for Me in My vanilla life, so when circumstances were finally right that I became a pro domme, it was wonderfully transformational for Me and still amazes.  I know I am past the 10,000 hour mark and that this is something I enjoy and am good at. I enjoy the freedom to continue to learn and experiment and design new experiences.

Q) What do you offer? What’s your “speciality”?
A) I am uniquely qualified to offer My “specialty”, what I call Dealer’s Choice.  It’s a bit based on chance, whim, or mood.  What I like to include in that is always some impact play.  Each person’s preferences and inclinations get taken into consideration because of course I am looking to build more longterm relationships.  Alas, I do not currently have any true impact devotees but know they are on their way.  I welcome them.

There is a high level of complexity in establishing rapport and trust, so it sometimes takes people a few sessions to appreciate the small challenges with which I present them, towards the goal of facilitating them becoming their best selves so they may also live their best and most fulfilled lives.  Even with veteran players, I find that many are completely unprepared for the kind of experience I present because of how unaccustomed they are to relinquishing power.  As paying customers, they have often been allowed to determine the type of session they get.  I follow a credence that My sexual magnetism is for a greater purpose than just to earn a paycheck.  I would Not do it for less, though.

I am captivating and use that as another of My tools.  Being quote-unquote “hot” is what I was given in raw form and put much time and effort into cultivating.  I also put a lot of thought and planning into My sessions so they are not merely to “rack ‘em and smack ‘em”.  I engage in a broad range of activities, and encourage the other Women of Dallas Domination to find what they are good at and passionate about.  I am an artist by training and temperament and cannot have the same sessions over and over.  I like to change things up and clients frequently comment that they never know what to expect.

Another fav is sensory deprivation. All different types of bondage are good to explore.  I do enjoy golden showers and appreciate the boys that really want to do this as a sign of respect and deference.  We offer full toilet at Dallas Domination.  We joke that “tinkle is cheap,” — but not that cheap, and full toilet is too rare to just give away.  Pegging is also a delight, especially when we are double teaming or triple reaming!

I’m also highly proficient in ballbusting, CBT, electrical, nipple play, etc.   I should note that Dallas Domination offers Clothed Female nude male (CFnm), non-sexual sessions.

I know boys go crazy over My size 6 feet too.  I get a lot of interest from foot worshippers and I have a great collection of shoes, but there’s another pair I need right around the corner!  I appreciate that so many foot and shoe guys are generous and keep me, ahem, well-heeled.  Speaking of, I love making jokes and getting clients to laugh with Me during sessions.  This is serious, but it can also be funny, too.

Q) Where do the sessions happen?
A) In a private dungeon setting, though occasional field trips or “staycations” change the setting and locations.

In the near future, we will be able to make appointments for any day of the week.  I personally prefer morning and afternoon sessions but, with advanced notice, will make appointments at other times.  I do work weekends and evenings as well.  Same day appointments are generally verboten but can be accommodated at an additional fee.  Deposits are necessary and required.

Dallas Domination is a fun team of dominatrices and often enjoy collaborating as 2, 3, or 4 upon the willing one.  We have peership and chemistry and there, too, we plan out every session. Those sessions are attractively priced but obviously not the norm.  Our team approach also allows a participant an opportunity for greater variety of skillsets, looks, methods, temperament — but all in the Dallas Domination space with trust and authenticity.

In Our new workspace, guests and practitioners enjoy it being bright, clean and airy, with surprises around the corner.  I’m going to be light on absolute specifics because construction is still happening but suffice to say, it uncharacteristically does not have lots of dark, black, or red.

Q) Why do you think people are drawn to BDSM?
A) Most in the scene are smart.  Perhaps, if they are young, they are exploring what is “cutting edge” but, if they are older and inexperienced with BDSM, they are probably not as stimulated by vanilla sex as they once were; it’s just not enough for them anymore.  Interestingly, I do sometimes hear that their “vanilla” sex life improves after having worked with Me.

Generally, I think there are a good number of people drawn to BDSM because they were kinked somewhere earlier in their lives and may need to work through some issues.  I am honored to assist in the process while also encouraging use of the gamut of support and health services.

I always say, Sex is a good bait, if you can get it.  BDSM can spark minds and heal spirits.  People who find Me are interested in the journey and what they can discover.

Q) What type of subs/slaves do you like?
A)Ideally, I like those who continue to learn.  I have an affinity for people with advanced study in STEAM/STEM and/or business.  They are often surprised at how this ostensibly visceral activity can become a lens with which to see their best selves.  People who can engage in this regularly are, by far, the best to work with.

We offer a discount for verified veterans, teachers and first responders.

Dallas Domination has the following Six Perfect Principles to guide clients in better becoming the type of subs/slaves that We like.  What is asked by these is, I feel, fair.

  1. Deference.  This isn’t Burger King and you can’t have it any way you like it.  You should think more like Avis:  you are number two and you try harder.
  2. Respect.  We are human and equals in that, but here, we are not peers.  There will be no use of “babe” or “sweetie.”
  3. Punctuality. This is the Big Leagues and Dallas Domination is the equivalent of Yankee Stadium.  Treat it accordingly. Be on time (not early and not late), clean, and ready.
  4. Quiet.  We will guide conversation, or use Our prerogative and maintain quiet.  You will be free to communicate, including use of safe words, if you need to urgently say something but otherwise, you hereby acknowledge that you will be quiet and thoughtful about your words so We can concentrate on the task at hand.
  5. Trust and honesty.  Much can be given and will be reciprocated as you can be assured Our total discretion.
  6. Generosity. It feeds the inspiration to craft unforgettable experiences.

Q) What are some of the biggest misconceptions about your work?
A)Oh boy, let’s see what this list looks like!  By the way, I have found that those who approach with any of these misconceptions in their minds do not readily convert into subs/slaves who get any time with Me.

Top misconception is that, because I enjoy My work, I can or should do it for free.  I do not begrudge those in the lifestyle who do but am decidedly not one of them and dislike being offered less than My rate.

Next misconception is that it’s at all appropriate to ask if I am dating. So ludicrous!  Such fantasy thinking has probably always existed, but is amplified in the internet age. Wholly ridiculous.

Then there’s the misconception that this involves having sex. I only offer CFnm, no sexual acts. Period.

Some people think this is an act.  Very little of what I do involves pretense.  I brook no BS.

And finally, the assumption that Dominatrices dress in some certain way.  As much as I admire them, it’s not a prerequisite or even full advantage to look like Elvira or Betty Page because, without the chops to back all that up, it’s just a costume.   I dress in a powerful, artistic way and get admiration (sometimes jealousy) most everywhere I go.  In session, I may one day wear a shiny black leotard but another be dressed in a business suit.  I enjoy the freedom of wearing a variety of clothes and shoes and being commanding and “hot” in all of them.

Q) How can potential subs/slaves get in touch with you?
A)It is best to make contact through the website, www.DallasDomination.com, using one’s best manners and writing.  Following @FemdommeVivian on Twitter and FetLife are also helpful in learning what I am about.  It should go without saying but wankers (or vankers, as My German friend says) need not apply.  There is a rigorous detection and identification system in place.

Ms Vivian is a Dallas based professional dominatrix and the ChairWoman of Dallas Domination.  She is college educated, culture and traveled and is a petite and hot badass.  She offers dramatic CFnm domination sessions in Dallas, TX.

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